Parental alienation
Parental alienation is the process, and the result, of psychological manipulation of a child into showing unwarranted fear, disrespect or hostility towards a parent and/or other family members. It is a distinctive form of psychological abuse towards both the child and the rejected family members, that occurs almost exclusively in association with family separation or divorce, particularly where legal action is involved. It undermines core principles of both the Universal Declaration of Human Rights and the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child. Most commonly, the primary cause is a parent wishing to exclude another parent from the life of their child, but other family members or friends, as well as professionals involved with the family, may contribute significantly to the process. It often leads to the long-term, or even permanent, estrangement of a child from one parent and other family members and, as a particularly adverse childhood experience, results in significantly increased lifetime risks of both mental and physical illness. to make it worse not only is he getting it fro her he has to deal with it from her mother and the mother’s domestic partner
OK WHAT SHE IS DOING IS DENEYING ME CONTACT TO AJANI DID NOT GET A CALL ON FATHERS DAY. I WANTED TO TAKE HIM TO THE FATHERS DAY PICNIC NO CALL BUT WHEN I MENTIONED IT TO HER SHE SAID SHE ALREADY MADE PLANS FOR THat day
here the most fucked up part of this whole mess if you are a social worker you already see the effects of parental alienation on children and on society why would you subject you own child yo this abuse.
i will go weeks without talking to him not good last time I saw my son was june23rd july8th for about 10 mins
Yes its been awhile since I’ve posted and there has been some changes. First off I have Ajani on some over nights. The first morning he spent with me, I came up from starting breakfast. He was asleep and place my hand on his chest, he just smiled. That’s a keeper! The visits are wonderful we spend Sat night watching movies (the lorax ,chicken run or chicken little) and eating popcorn and lemonade.
For a while there things were happening. A friend who I was working for passed suddenly. New and better employment and the weight of something keep me in a funk. I was thrilled to start the over night but i did not feel completed.
There were some incidents that I wanted to bring up at the court hearing that was started by her. She filed a contempt charge on me for not picking Ajani up when he had the chicken pox. Needless to say that when that was brought up the judge was already pissed. Any thing that I had was of no concern to her.
REALITY: NO FAMILY IN FAMILY COURT
The site came up this time, yep the one your reading. The main focus was on the page ATTACK ON THE FAMILY. I was given a lecture on my “homophobic beliefs” READ THE DISCLAIMER, guess there there’s too much scat in there already.
Basically frustration is over come and reality has set in.
Tired of the courts they don’t care.
Reality is that my son will be living in two households and will not experience his birthright.
Reality is that some people are just that selfish.
Karma is reality
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Well you can tell ev’ryone I’m a down disgrace
Drag my name all over the place.
I don’t care anymore.
You can tell ev’rybody ’bout the state I’m in
You won’t catch me crying ‘cos I just can’t win.
I don’t care anymore I don’t care anymore
One day all the parts of the body had a meeting. The subject was who was going to be in-charge. The brain spoke first. “Without me, this body would not know what to do”.
Next were the lungs. “I think I should be in charge, without me this body would surely die.”
Then the heart, “I pump the blood through this body, I must be in charge”
This discussion turned into a heated argument with all the body parts claiming that their function was the most important, and that they should be in charge.
A tiny voice could be heard through the commotion. “I would like to be in charge”
“WHO ARE YOU” everyone asked.
“I’m the asshole”
There was a roar of laughter.
“You want to be in charge? The asshole wants to be in charge? You got to be kidding.
Why do you want to be in charge? All you do is let the waste that we create out of the body.
“No particular reason just thought I’d give it a shot.”
“We will never let an asshole be in charge” the body shouted.
“No problem” said the asshole
The body went back to its argument, the asshole closed up.
Now because the asshole was not doing its job, the body started to get sick.
The brain could not think. The heart started slowing pumping blood and the lungs could hardly take a breath.
The body pleaded for the asshole to do its job.
The asshole asked one question.
“Can I be in charge?”
Without hesitation the body said yes!!
So the asshole did its job, the body began to get better. Next time you call someone an asshole remember who’s in charge
With that being said, the past couple of week have been great with Ajani. There was a post about father’s day, but there was a server upgrade and that post was lost. Although there are a few issues that I’m going to bring up. There is an ongoing pattern that I have take notice to, Ajani’s sleeping. He seems to take a nap usually around 10 am and sleeps for about 2 hrs. Now I don’t think that’s a normal for an active 3 yr old. Now when he wakes up, he is full of energy then he crashes. I have a problem with that. Second my son tells me that when he comes home from school, all he does is watch TV. No outside and no one to play with him. Now as a concerned parent I went to DHS to voice my feelings on a few other items, that was about 3 weeks ago, still nothing from them, not even a your full of shit. I guess the only way to get some type of response out of that origination is for me to grow some tits.
Court on the 26th
The other major item was the court date to have the PFA extended. This was the 3rd scheduling of this. I was prepared. We walked in to the court room, once again no attorney. The judge reviewed the case history. She then read the stature for having a PFA extended “The judge can extend a final PFA if s/he believes that the abuser committed one or more acts of abuse while you had the final order or behaved in other ways that indicates a continued risk of harm to the you or your child. If necessary, the order can be extended more than once. There is no limit on the number of extensions that may be granted”* 23 Pa.C.S.A. § 6108(e)”
Since I knew that I had not done anything in the past 3 years this was an open and shut case. I proceeded to get my papers in order. Then opening statements, she opened up with the same rhetoric “Freddie B Thomas has found ways to get around the PFA, he uses the fact that we have a son to contact me, and that I fear from my life and my sons life if the PFA is not extended”. Just Like they practiced. Then my turn, “with the testimony and evidence that I will present, you will deny and request that Roslyn Hopson has presented to extend the PFA.”
Now on with the show!
She then started to talk about a text that I had sent to her phone on Feb 19th. Here is the text “ajani ate 2 chicken strips acouple handfuls of low salt potato chips 10oz of choclet milk”
Vlad
The judge then asked her to produce the text. I had my copies printed out. The judge mentioned that there was a full docket and that “you” Ms Hopson have a witness to testify also, still scrolling through the phones. Now you figured that a person with such a “high degree” of intelligence would be prepared and better yet know how to work a cell phone. Hell, when Ajani wants Angry Birds, all I do is put in my code and hand him my phone and within a few mins I’m hearing the sounds of birds flying in the air. It took all of about 30 mins searching through two phones for that text. One of the court officers was checking her Facebook page, me and the other exchanging stares and chuckles and the judge was knocking off cases. Finally she found it. All I did was confirm that it was the text. The judge asked her to read the text. She read that one plus 6 more; all the judge wanted was just the one for the 19th. Her mother was the witness; the judge was already fed up and asked her just one question. “Have you witness and type of abuse from Mr Thomas against ms hopson in the past three years. The only thing she could say was no which is what she said. Then the judge added, “Probably because she does not show up”
Now my turn.
I proceeded to address each complaint; I said that there is a court order in place that specifies that we are to exchange information about Ajani via electronic means and produced said order. She acknowledged that. I then began to explain how I came about her phone number. I stated that I have a website up about my “trials “over the past three years and that I received noticed that her name came up in a keyword search on the site. I followed the links and it leads me to her phone number. The court officer then handed the papers to the judge, she then handed them to Roslyn. I had to explain how keywords work to the judge.
Now we’ve all seen those priceless commercials from master card. This was one of them. As she flipped thought the papers, her jaw fell out of her mouth, rolled up said hi to the judge and made a trip around the whole family court. She was ABSOLUTLY SPEACHLESS (and that’s how I like to leave them) The PFA will expire on the 7th of July.
The Judge then thanked me for being prepared and we left. (thanks mom and dad for the Boy Scouts!)
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Somewhere between an excuse and a lie
You found something that you believe
So proud, I guess I can’t imagine why
Three cheers, for what we used to be
Pathetic, Wasted, Souless, Compromised
Sleep-walking the mine field
Shit talking, it crumbles around you
It comes back around
Somewhere between delusion and denial
You’ll drown in your own sympathy
Profound, at least you thought so at the time
A ghost of who you used to be
Pathetic, Wasted, Souless, Compromised
Sleep-walking the mine field
Shit talking, it crumbles around you
It comes back around
Sunday July 1
As for the incident at the police station, to both of you “THINGS”, you really think by recording every pick up help your cause??? Boy you are really fuckin stupid! Don’t you realize that by not letting Roslyn make the pick/drop off she is creating a hostile environment? That she is the one to take the fall?? Or that’s part of your selfish plans?? Make her take the fall then you two walk away with Ajani?? Hate to tell ya NEVER GONNA HAPPEN!!!
Now about the comments that were said first on the job thing. Right now my job is to be a father to my son and to protect him, and also to thwart any of your plans.
On me being Ajani’s Father, which was the dumbest thing, you could say now that changes the playing field. If it comes out that I am not the father, it’s Christmas all over the world.
So am I an ASSHOLE for fighting for what I believe in?
Am I an ASSHOLE for wanting my family?
Am I an ASSHOLE for not doing what everyman has done in their lives, that is walk away?
And to answer the question that the police officer from the 19th district “IS that an ASSHOLE”
That’s right and for two reasons first: I got to spend time with my son. Second: very good day in court on Monday. I did not make a post about that, still stunned. I’ll talk about it later on in this post.
With a great big hug we greeted each other. Right off the bat he asked “do you have a surprise for me”? I said not today! But I have good news; soon we are going to spend more time together. So we set off to his uncle’s house. On the train ride he asked for the Thomas game. After setting it up, he jumped right into the matching game. After about 3 rounds of that he wanted to go to puzzles. He started on level 3 and did not have a problem. He did about 7 of those so we moved on to insects, birds, and shapes. While we were doing shapes, it got interesting. I showed him a rectangle I asked “what’s this shape” he said rhombus. I got to thinking I’ve heard of that before. I corrected him on the rectangle.
Arriving at my brothers, he was greeted with the usual hugs and kisses. While we were playing his cousin Patricia had something to show us and this was it.
“Oh the things u will see”
I was amazed; I knew she was a good artist. But this was just damn good. I showed Ajani and I asked him who is that? He said AJANI. He then asked “what am I looking at”. Patricia said “space” so the rest of the day was spend with him saying “daddy I’m looking in to space” We had lunch and played horsey and some Mario Go Kart. When it was time to leave, once again we went through it. He fell asleep on the train
Feb 13th
I was nervous because with the last hearing. Things did not well at all (post: not in Kansas). I arrived at 9 am. She arrived 9:30. There was no attorney for her so I guess the money ran out. Also here two shadows were mot there either. ODD! Things are looking up! I made a statement that I did not get any visits for the last 3 weeks. I then told the judge about the call from DHS. Then I gave the judge a letter from said agency, silence. The judge read the letter out loud. Then proceeded to ask her question that eventually lead to her being caught up in 1 lie. She was caught in another one also about the 24th of Dec.
She was found guilty of contempt of the custody order and Ms Hopson was advised that continual violations of the custody order will result to incarceration. The Judge also advised me that I WILL be getting more time with my son Saturdays with an overnight into Sunday. And eventually I will get weekends. As for the outburst and award winning performance by Roslyn Hopson here’s a little something for ya
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The judge did say something that got my interest. I should put you two in a room by your selves and hash it out. Now the only reason a judge would say something like that is: THERE IS NO LEGAL REASON FOR THIS, which is something I WANT TO DO!! But there are two underlying factors in all this:
Constance Ratliff Mother???? of Roslyn CR Alternative Lifestyle
For the second week in a row THEY have decided to deny my son and myself our visit, this time there was no message. I did receive a phone call during the week from a certain city agency. Very interesting!
Tool Swamp Song
My warning meant nothing.
Youre dancing in quicksand.
Why dont you watch where youre wandering?
Why dont you watch where youre stumbling?
Youre wading knee deep and going in.
Youre wading knee deep and going in.
This bog is thick and easy to get lost in.
cause youre a stupid, belligerent fucker.
This bog is thick and easy to get lost in.
cause youre a dumb and belligerent fucker.
I hope it sucks you down. down…down…down…
My warning meant nothing.
Youre dancing in quicksand.
Why dont you watch where youre wandering?
Why dont you watch where youre stumbling?
Youre wading knee deep and going in.
And you may never come back again.
May the weight of the lies, deceit, and attempted manipulation
On Sunday I received a text stating that my son would not be joining me today. Reason? No legal reason. The only reason is PURE SELFISNESS. The one who is pulling the strings said that I did not explain or give an answer to a question last week.
Those two words felt so goddamn good, the look on their faces was priceless. First I would like to thank the judge who could see through her bull shit. Second the Public Defenders Association, good job. And last but not least, the person who took her statement on July 7th. WORD for WORD. That’s doing your job. For the first time, in this matter, the court system did something right.
I arrived about 8:50 read the Metro and waited. 9:20 I heard some keys rattling, It was her. She walked in, the transformation is almost complete. She walked up to the Prosecutors’ table. Laughing and looking all confident. Then the air got a little chilly, the low rattle of timpani drums began and the floor trembled, Creature 1 entered. Followed by its shadow, all light disappeared as it was absorbed by the growing black hole that is it becoming.
The trial stated at 12:45, she testified first. Key point, the police report was filed on July 7th. Incident happened on July 3rd. Once again it’s an after thought (Jan 26 2009). Also when asked how she felt when she received the text, “I was scared”. Now here’s where a person is earning their paycheck. In her statement she stated that “under the advisement of her attorney, that she file a contempt charge for the text.”
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then I remembered that I still had a copy of the order in my wallet. Showed it to my attorney she read it made copies passed it out. Then it was my turn:
On July 3rd CR dropped off Ajani at 9:30
On the pickup DM arrived. I pointed her to the window. She walked over and the officer on duty informed her that since she was not on the court order, I did not have to give Ajani to her. We left I then texted her and CR. I was then asked to read a part of the order
“Mother or maternal Grandmother to drop off and pick up child. Parties to communicate by e-mail any necessary information pertaining to the child.”
Defense Rest.
Took the Judge about 15mins,
“Mr. Thomas I find you not guilty of contempt, you were in your rights to contact Roslyn Hopson about this matter.”
I spent 18hrs in jail, denied a visit with my son.
I had picked up Percy during the week to surprise him. When I gave it to him, he said “I wanted big Percy” That was one of the choices last week. He gave it back. I want the game! I then reminded him of how we ask for things. Can I have my game please? I gave him his PDA and that’s all she wrote! He was trying to walk and play at the same time. He would take a few steps stop, move something on the screen and repeated that a few times. I picked him up and we walked to the bus stop. I tried to engage him in conversation, but he was totally into the game.
When breakfast came, he wanted some. I was trying to cut the sausage and he said “let me cut” I let him try. A few potatoes went on the table. Plus the fact that it was plastic did not help. But we managed to cut it up and eat.
Let's see, I'll move a million to this account, and the other I'll have fun with
On the way to his uncle’s house there were puddles, lots of them! The temptation was too much. He would drift towards one, look at me, smile, and say dirty water? Finally I saw one and we jumped in it. I got Ajani out of his wet clothes and we played. Running around the house, flipping over my legs just being a kid, both of us. The most memorable event was he walked up the steps and sat down. He then slid down the steps, carpeted. Bobbing is head as he came down the steps. Then he asked his game played with that for a hour, then back to ruff housing. At one point he was on the floor, I could see he was tired. I said ready for your nap buddy? He looked at me and fell out, down for the count.
We arrived a little early at the drop off and he was asleep for the ride home. At about 5:50 I was looking at him, and he was staring to cry. I looked out the door and they were pulling up. I was trying to find out what was wrong. In between the cries I could make out I don’t want you to go. They were there to witness this, not all of them. Roslyn still has not shown her face. I kissed him on his forehead and told him “It’s ok I’ll see you next week” He was still crying as I left. I stood out the doors and looked in. He was looking at me; they were trying to provide some false comfort. I walked in and said “this will be over soon” Very soon.
ok when i first posted this the video i had up was perfect but you tube in their infinite wisdom removed the video
Sunday’s visit was great as usual, but when we went through the breakfast thing, Ajani asked me “can I come and eat with him at home? Once again I was stunned. Once again I could not tell my son the truth. I want to tell him that the reason that I can’t come and eat, play, and do everything that a father should be doing, is because of the selfishness of his mother. I want to tell him that because of the complete lack of respect for him that his grandmother and the other “thing” are keeping me out of his life. The most important thing is that the love that they profess is false and driven by manipulation. Ajani can sense that something is not right. When he asks me one of those questions, he looks at me, waiting for me to say yes I’ll come over. There is a serious let down when the answer is no. I try to change the subject, but the damage is done. In his mind, there are already issues growing. I don’t need to go into all the mental issues that this is doing to him, but let’s look at it from his point of view. I have a daddy. I see my daddy one time a week (we’re working on telling time by the days that we see each other). My daddy does not eat or play with me at home. There is also the need to let everyone know that I am his father.
Now I would thing that’s a bit much for a child of 3 to have to handle. I mean with Thomas the Train, Lighting McQueen, dealing with daycare, and using the 4-3, 3-4 and 2-5 defense in sync, can be a lot.
Anyone who works in the fields of psychology, social work, children’s development can attest to the difficulties that children have with out fathers in their lives. Would it make sense that a person would commit parental alienation working in said field? How about 2? I would think that if you devote your life to helping society move a small step forward, why would you make your child another statistic? One thing though, being in that field gave you the advantage in court matters. The tide is turning on that!
Now thinking back, I recall a speech about 6 years ago that we attended. The speaker was Dr. Raymond A. Winbush and another person. The reason that Dr. WInbush stood out was he had a lot to say and he had a book, The Warrior Method. I purchased that book, out of support. It sat on my desk for about 2yrs. I moved it around from place to place. Then I was given the news that I was going to be a father. The book was right where I left it. I read it, about 4 times. Very good book, great, book. But no where do I recall that the best way to raise a child is to alienate a parent. Or that the best way to raise a healthy black male child is to remove the father and let 2 and a half dyke bitches raise him. After I read it; I thought “hey, this is wonderful; a lot of the road blocks were out of the way”. Was I the fuck wrong!
The only reasons that I should be out of Ajani’s life are a follows:
I abandon him
I am incarcerated
I am mentally unfit
I commit a major crime
I have not done any of the above, but yet you try to disrupt the second happiest thing in my life. By spreading all the lies and using a broken court system to achieve what ever goal the 3 of you are trying to reach. You 3 are the biggest joke ever. You claim to be all for social change, yet you drag an unwilling participant in this deception. Phony, fake and living a lie.
Was that a jump into this?
On Sept 23 2006 I spoke the words of commitment to every one that was there. When asked “do you Freddie Thomas take Roslyn Hopson as my wife” I yelled at the top of my lungs “DAMMN SKIPPY”, I meant it. This was a journey that I waited a long time to make. But it seems that the other person got distracted. You have said there were problems. What fuckin problems??? The only problems I saw were the constant disruptions of our life by the creatures, the same creatures who you conversed with about what ever imaginary problems. Is this a repeat of your first go around? I know that one of them was instrumental in the first break up.
So it’s been two years. How come no divorce papers yet??? I mean you know that from your first go around. Please hurry with them!!!!One question I am asked a lot, do I still love her? I generally reply, “Love can come and go, it’s the respect that I have for the person who gave birth to my child that is slowly eroding away. And once that is gone, there is nothing left
Surrogate: a woman who bears a child for a couple, with the intention of handing it over at birth. She is usually either artificially inseminated with the man’s sperm or implanted with a fertilized egg from the woman.
Mother: a woman who has a child, or a female animal that has produced young. To give birth to and bring up a baby.
I put these definitions up because right now I’m not sure which one applies to Roslyn Hopson. Maybe you can
I tell Ajani this every time I am with him. “I want to be there to wake you up in the morning, make you breakfast, give you your raspberries, play with you tuck you in and read you your bed time stories. I want to do that, but there are people that don’t want that. You will figure out who they are later in life, but don’t you think that you did anything wrong. If any one tells you anything different are lying to you.
I tell him that to ensure that he does not start to get a complex and think that he is the problem. But the most important thing is. I did not walk away from him that I am fighting for him and that I love him.
Scroll up for the lyrics. If you finish reading before the 4:35 move the slider to that mark here are the lyrics that were in the original video
Soon the water will come And claim what is mine I must leave it behind And climb to a new place now
This ground is not the rock I thought it to be Thought I was high, and free I thought I was there Divine destiny I was wrong This changes everything
I take what is mine Hold what is mine Suffocate what is mine Bury what’s mine Soon the water will come And claim what is mine I must leave it behind And climb to a new place
Water’s rising up on me The water is rising up on me Thought the sun would come deliver me But the truth has come to punish me instead
Grounds break down right under me Cleanse and purge me In the water
There were a couple of hearings that really show the bias in the family court system. At the contempt hearing, I was told that the evidence that i had should be show to someone who cares. That it is OK for her not to give me information about Ajain according to the court order. The overall impression was the courts were more interested in me showing up 15 mins late than the condition that my son is given to me.
So taking the courts advice, I continued to document and take pictures. On too round two!
This was the hearing about who can do the pick up and drop off and my petition for joint custody and a few other items. Surely this would be the court that would care about my evidence!
Right off the bat I was asked why do I object to diane mitchel picking up my son.
I said ” I do not need to see the people who are the architects of this conspiracy to commit parental alienation, I don’t like her, I don’t want her around my son, Roslyn needs to start being a mother and bring our son to me”
“you don’t like her, I don’t care who you like, the wicked witch of the west can come and pick up your son and your are not to say anything” you don’t like her
I was thinking there is a fire station right next store and other things.
thanks PFD!
Then we moved on to other things,actually I was DONE! because with that statement it said that the courts do not care who drops my son off. That the courts are in NO WAY interested in preserving the idea of a family. That the best interest of children are NOT the first thing on it’s minds. That a court order can be interpreted in anyway except the way it was written.
I then wanted to introduce my evidence. I would’ve had better luck serving a cheese steak to a vegan.
The total lack of interest in anything I had to say or present really is a major let down in my belief in a fair justice system. But then I remember that this is not justice or a system, it is a process. Just like making ground beef. They haven’t made major changes to that process, except they kill them with some dignity.
Headin' to Philly!
THE EVIDENCE OF CONTEMPT
I presented the pictures that I took of my son. The reason is simple,CYA. If you remember around April of last year, I did not see Ajain for 9 weeks. The reason for that was they said I injured him on a visit. That hearing was in July. The picture they presented was printed on plain paper, and you could see the pixels, (don’t know much ’bout photo editing) and, needless to say was dismissed. So I had to CMA .
Plus I had a spread sheet of the number of violations and the fact that I recivied no information on Ajani’s medical, NOTHING.
ALL WAS DISMISSED!
Wow! and we thought we've seen and heard everything!
At least the vegan would have asked for some lettuce, or some other veggie stuff.
Now there was another issue that I wanted to bring up, but after that why bother.
The issue was this, since I have not received any information on my son, i.e allergies of any kind, what foods not to give him, skin NOTHNG! You would think Roslyn would provide a bag? I have Ajani for 8 hrs.
This is a letter given to the day room supervisor during the supervisied visits.
I only had him for 1 hr 40 mins (they were never on time). Reason would dictate that with a letter like that, someone would provide something for 8 hrs?
What’s that? some salt and napkins?????
Now I was denied my son for 9 weeks, not by a decision made by the courts, but by them. NO CALL NO MESSAGE. But yet I have all the evidence of non compliance,of willful contempt, of blatant attempts to alienate me from my son ?
And it’s dismissed. No wonder why men just give up.
